Mental health issues in relationships can be a major element for conflict in a couple. It is often said in relationship counselling at Safe Place Therapy:
There are always three people in your relationship, the two partners and mental health.
Mental health or mental illness in relationships can form a big part of how people communicate. It can contribute to the worry or the anxiety, and the taking care of each other, in difficult periods.
This is often missed by many professionals as they skim passed words like ‘depression’ or ‘anxiety’ or Borderline Personality Disorder and don’t unpack what that means for each person.
Mental Health issues in relationships
Usually a dynamic is created between the two partners – one feeling like the ‘well one’ needing to support or protect the other partner who at times feels like the weak one or the ’emotional one’. We may not even use the words of depression but there is an underlying system created to prevent a dip into distress.
The person who is emotional or struggling feels that they need to be cautious in what they say to their partner so they don’t worry them. Or in extreme cases they feel controlled or parented. This dynamic may have worked at times. But over time this can break down into a sense of inequality that is unfair on both people.
Communication
What would it be like if you actually said what you thought, or aired your emotions? This question usually gets a reaction in the room as both partners often ‘sweep things under the rug’ or lessen things in order to save the other person from distress. How fair is this? To go on and live your life half expressed of half shared because you are worried about the reaction? This is not blaming one partner over the other. This is about noting the inequality for both people in the relationship.
Every relationship has stress within it
A lack of emotional connection can become toxic for the life of the relationship. It’s like the couple becomes bored and tired of the mundane. And then they stop talking about issues and connecting with their partner. This has big implications for self-esteem and confidence for each individual. More needs to be done to connect and engage both people to sit, unpack and be okay with emotions.
How is mental health affecting your relationship? We would like to hear from you and work with you and your partner towards better engagement and better mental health. Take the time to reach out today.
We have also prepared a series of articles on mental health and relationships for you that may help.
