If you’re having some trouble communicating with teenagers son or daughter, you are far from alone. Whether it’s talking to your kids about a curfew, dinner, video games, drugs, alcohol, relationships – or anything – you may encounter a degree of resistance at some point. This could happen once every few months, or even every day.
This is perfectly normal. Teens go through colossal changes in their lives during youth. They’re going through puberty, experiencing knew forms of love, learning the principles they stand for and what they believe in, and dealing with a raft of other teenager problems.
They aren’t ‘children’ anymore, and the way they will communicate with their parents will change. That means it’s time for you to change how you speak with them.
Communicating with teenagers: how to do it effectively
Below, we’ll outline our top tips to speak with your teenager, no matter the circumstances of your relationship.
Make talking part of your routine
It’s important to make time to chat with your teens about what they’ve been doing and what their day has been like. This may seem difficult at first. You may be thinking ‘what are teenagers into’ or have absolutely no idea where to start.
This is different to communicating with children. You’ll need to try and identify the times when your kids want to chat the most. Is it in the morning? After school? Over dinner or after exercising? If your young adolescent feels like sharing what’s on their mind, use that moment to your advantage. Pay them your complete attention, listen without resentment or judgment and keep an open mind.
Listen to their needs
The general rule when speaking to your teenager is listen twice as much as you talk. Give them time to share their perspective on whatever it is you’re discussing, before offering your opinions.
Be the wise sage that lends the next generation a hand, and not the judgmental parent who thinks their kid doesn’t know anything.
Ask open questions
Be curious about your teenager and what they are doing in their lives. Remember – they can sniff a whiff of judgment from a mile away, so take caution in what you say and your tone.
For example, let’s say you aren’t a fan of your teenage son’s girlfriend and you see him upset. You begin talking with him. Avoid asking “Well, have you stopped seeing that girl yet?” – this is bad communication, and a loaded question with an assumption that breaking up with the girlfriend is the solution to the problem.
Rather, say “Have you though about what to do next?” (an open question). This will give them confidence, and perhaps even more willingness to talk to you.
Respect their privacy
As your teenager goes through puberty, it’s important for them to grow alone every once and a while. Let them listen to music in peace, read a book or play video games in their room alone.
If you want to have a sensitive talk about something with them, do it in a quiet place. And if you need to speak with them about anything, knock on their door. Don’t barge in.
Need help speaking with your teenager?
If you’re having some trouble communicating with teenagers – son or daughter – you are far from being alone.
At Safe Place Therapy, our teenager counselling service is designed to help young adolescents deal with issues at school, problems at home and issues with their mental and physical health.
The right help for your teenager can be hard to find. Our therapists are experienced in teenage counselling. They’re absolutely committed to giving the right advice for teens, and helping parents help their kids through the difficult life of puberty.
Book an online session or reach out to us today, and we can suggest the most appropriate solution for you.
