But what if the root of the problem is a narcissistic family member? According to a 2021 survey, about 16 million adults suffer from “narcissistic personality disorder”. So you might be dealing with a narcissistic mother or narcissist sibling. You may have noticed them exhibiting an extreme need for approval, self-obsession, lack of empathy, or unpredictable emotional outbursts.
Many don’t have the heart to break their family bonds. Suppose you want to manage your relationships better at home without making the other person feel attacked.
In that case, we will discuss below how you can recognise the signs of narcissistic personality disorder, how this can affect your family dynamics and some tips on how to handle it without causing a fight.
What is narcissism?
Narcissism refers to a mental state where the individual has an inflated self-perception and a strong desire for external validation. The person can’t be bothered to care about the welfare of others, thus causing significant strains on their relationships.
Narcissists can have low self-esteem as well. This type doesn’t take criticism well, despite appearing to be full of confidence.
People may sometimes display selfish behaviours. However, if it causes severe harm to a person’s mental and emotional wellbeing, this trait may be considered a sign of a mental disorder known as a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Narcissistic family dynamics: what the behaviour looks like
There are some red flags to watch out for to understand better how narcissistic traits can lead to toxic family dynamics and mental health issues.
A self-absorbed family member demands to be the centre of attention and be the object of admiration. As such, they have trouble setting boundaries and respecting the opinion of others. If they feel ignored or insulted, they may try to ingratiate themselves to win favour or lash out against their perceived attacker.
Another typical narcissistic behaviour is gaslighting. This is where somebody tries to control you by manipulating your sense of reality. For example, a husband doing something abusive and then denying that it occurred.
You don’t have to suffer in silence if a family member has NPD. Below, we’ll highlight what you can do.
How to deal with a narcissistic family member (without causing a fight)
If you cannot or don’t want to remove your family member from your life, here are three tips for dealing with them in a non-aggressive manner:
Create a safe space for yourself
Look for a place where you can retreat and cool down whenever you have a negative interaction with that family member. It can be somewhere within or outside the home, as long as you feel safe and secure.
Get yourself a journal
Journaling can be a helpful outlet for your negative thoughts and emotions. If you think you are being gaslighted or abused by a narcissistic family member, you can use it to record or look back on the narrative according to your perspective.
Consider counselling
Your family member have not have NPD at all. They may be suffering from other issues, such as anxiety or depression.
Either way, an experienced therapist may guide you through your family situation. It is always important to ask the right questions, so that a professional can diagnose the problem and provide a solution.
Here at Safe Place Therapy, we provide NPD counselling to empower our clients to regain control, adopt healthy coping strategies, or even develop a safe exit plan. We also provide standard anxiety and depression counselling if NPD is not the problem.
Book an appointment online with one of our specialist NPD counsellors in Melbourne today, or give us a ring if you need any more information.
