If you’ve been considering couples counselling, you may have also found yourself wondering whether it actually works. It’s only natural to question this; booking your first couples counselling session can feel daunting, particularly if you are feeling sceptical about it. Here are some common questions that people have when heading into couples counselling.
How effective is couples counselling?
Many studies have shown that couples counselling is effective, with up to 75% of couples seeing improvements in their relationship following couples counselling. Many couples will report a decrease in distress associated with their relationship as well as an increase in relationship satisfaction. It is important to remember that everyone’s situation is different, with some people needing more or less sessions than others to experience meaningful change.
When does couples counselling work well?
Couples counselling works best when couples come to therapy with an open mind and a willingness to learn more about both themselves and their partner as well as learn new skills in the process. When you are at couples counselling it is important that you allow your partner to speak their mind and listen attentively. It’s also important to remember to speak about what matter most rather than bringing up petty or trivial disputes. Keep in mind that couples counselling can take time to work; talk to your counsellor about how you feel it is going.
When does couples counselling not work?
If you are currently in an actively abusive relationship, couples therapy is not likely to help. Individual therapy may be required to ensure that there is safety within the relationship before couples counselling is considered.
How can couples counselling help?
Couple’s counsellors will help you to:
Identify themes/problems: You might feel like there is so much going on in your relationship, however a couple’s counsellor will help you to identify what is really important. Usually, many of these issues boil down to a few themes or core problems within the relationship that need to be worked on.
Set goals: Your couples counsellors will help you to set both short term and long-term goals that both you and your partner want to work towards and will help you to plan for how to work toward them.
Understand each other: Sometimes we can feel so consumed with our experience and frustrated that our partner just can’t seem to get it.In couples counselling your counsellor will hold a space for you to express yourself to your partner and also for your partner to express their perspective to you.
Communicate more effectively: Your couples counsellor will help you and your partner learn skills to solve disagreements, express your needs and emotions and show up for yourself and your partner in meaningful ways. You may also learn more about how to explore, identify and process your own emotions both individually and within your relationship.
Reconnect: Throughout couples counselling you and your partner may learn ways in which you can reconnect and find joy, fun, meaning and contentment with each other.
Worried about your partner not wanting to come?
Ideally it is most helpful to have both parties attending counselling, however sometimes this isn’t possible. If your partner is not willing to come to counselling, it is still a good idea to book in a solo session with one of our counsellors to talk through what is happening. This may help in areas such as building better tools for communication or providing further insight into your own relationship values.
Our couples counsellors at Safe Place Therapy are warm, helpful and ready to meet you and your partner where you are at.
If you’re ready to take the next step, you can schedule an appointment for couples counselling here.
Alternatively, you can check our Relationship Counselling service here.
